But they're lobsters!
by Flopsy
Summary: What would have happened if Ross had recognized his feelings for Rachel much earlier? What would have that realization changed, how would it have changed the life of Joey and would that change have been for better or worse. An AU. Please RnR.
1. One door down

Disclaimer: I do not own either friends or Joey and am not making any money on this story whatsoever.

Chapter One ------

One door down, the hall was half done, he only had half a hallway and one door to go. Three steps and it would be over, why did the walk seem so difficult, it had never been hard before, probably because he was never walking to anything other than normal before, now he was walking towards a future he didn't know if he was ready for, he was walking towards letting somebody else in on his secret, he was about to confess what he had been bottling up for what felt like an eternity. He was about to bare not only his soul but his heart as well, something he had never bore before.

As he was standing there, in the middle of the hall, in the middle of two closed doors, one of which led to what could potentially be freedom from the pain which was now cursing his being and the other of which led to a life of solitary longing and hopelessness, his mind kept on flashing back to events gone by, events which at the time had seemed just another part of that day, another part of normal, which had seemed insignificant, which now seemed so much more.

Eight Years Earlier

"Do you think its wrong that we still come here?" asked a beautiful light brown haired woman who was currently perched on top of the monkey bars in Central Park.

"WRONG!" exclaimed the dark haired man beside her, "Why would it be wrong. It'd only be wrong if we were old and I don't known about you but I am not old!"

"You're older than me," the woman stated matter-of-factly, but the sparkle in her eye gave away her amusement at the indignation in his tone.

"Well that settles it then, neither of us are old," he said with a definite nod of his head.

"Well I suppose even if we were claimed to be old we could simply say we're recapturing our youth or something to that effect," she said with a little laugh while running her fingers though her hair.

"Yeah! Yeah, we could do that," he said agreeing enthusiastically.

"Ok sweetie that's enough for today," she said jumping down to the ground, "I've got to get back to work, walk me?" she asked looking up at him and sticking out her arm.

"Of course," said the man jumping down beside her and taking the offered arm, "lead the way."

The two walked out of the park arm in arm chatting merrily about everything and nothing. They were just two of a group of six, they were best friends, they were completely comfortable in the others presence and they loved each other as all friends do and that was it.

Almost two years had passed since that day and the pair were once again back in Central Park. This time the man could be seen dragging the woman by the arm through the park.

"Where are you taking me and why am I blindfolded?" asked the woman exasperated.

"Just be patient," he said continuing to pull her.

Finally they reached their destination.

"Okay here we are," he said removing the blindfold, "Happy Birthday!" he exclaimed.

"You got me a skateboard!" she said with false excitement.

"Yep and I picked it up on sale so its non-returnable," he said with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

"I wouldn't -"

"Yeah right," he said cutting her off before she could even finish that false proclamation.

"You're not actually expecting me to ride this thing are you?" she asked eyeing the board wearily.

"Ah yeah, I am," he said rolling his eyes.

"Is it also non-refundable?" she moaned.

The man just laughed heartily at that.

"Well at least you picked a pretty one," she mumbled eyeing the baby pink Barbie top.

"Come on just give it a go, you might even end up liking it," he said trying to push her in the direction of the skateboard.

"No way, I could hurt myself," she said backing away slightly.

"Don't be such a baby, besides I thought of that."

"You thought! Well that's an achievement in itself," she commented dryly.

"Hey! I might not be smart but I still got feelings," he said slightly hurt, "Now try these on," he continued, pulling a florescent pink helmet and matching knee and wrist guards out of a brown paper bag.

Ten minutes and five short lived arguments later the woman was standing on top of the skateboard clad in all the gear she had been given, looking ridiculously cute, hands shaking and grasping the shirt of the man for dear life.

"Calm down, I won't let you get hurt. Now bend your knees a little and let go of me. I'm going to give you a little push," he said, eyes twinkling in amusement.

"No, no, don't push, there will be no pushing," she cried fretfully, "just standing is nice." The man ignored her pleas and gently began to make her move.

All went fine for about fifteen seconds, and then everything went wrong. First, the skateboard began to gather up much more speed than it should have. Then a kid ran out in front of her. Somehow, miraculously, she managed to turn the skateboard and stay on. Unfortunately she turned right into a tree. With an ear-splitting high-pitched scream she crashed right into it. The board went up, her bum went down, hitting the pavement with a painful thud.

"Oh my god! Are you alright?" yelled the man slightly hysterically.

"I think I broke my butt," the woman mumbled, groaning and rolling over onto her stomach.

"Should we go to the hospital?" he asked panicked, "Maybe you hit your head."

"Yeah just help me up," she answered in a pained tone.

He helped her hobble to her feet and began to lead her towards the nearest place to hail a cab.

"Oh wait, the skateboard!" he exclaimed suddenly.

"Leave it," came the sharp reply.

"Well I guess it did only cost me twelve bucks." She glared at him as they kept walking.

Three hours later the pair exited the hospital. The woman was frowning but the man was laughing.

"I can't believe you broke your but!" The man laughed louder.

"I didn't brake my but, I fractured my coccyx," she said shooting a glare in his direction.

"Whatever you say dude." He kept a straight face for a good eleven seconds before bursting out into peals of laughter once more, "You broke your but!"

The woman smacked him around the head then stuck her hand into the air and yelled out, "Taxi!" before hopping into a yellow cab and trying very hard not to brake out into laughter herself.

Three years later the brown haired woman dragged her feet moodily into her apartment. She went straight for her bedroom, changing into her pajamas in an attempt to get comfortable and be able to forget her day.

When she walked out of her bedroom she was startled to see someone else in the kitchen, who currently had their head in the fridge, and their bottom was the only thing that could be seen.

"Hey!" she exclaimed.

A loud bang was heard next and then just as suddenly a dark head popped out of the fridge. The blue eyes of the woman, which had jumped wide in shock, relaxed completely when she saw who it was.

"Oh sorry sweetie, I didn't know you were here. Is your head ok?" she asked looking on worriedly as he rubbed the part that had connected with the roof of the fridge.

"Yeah its fine. I'm sorry too, I thought everyone was supposed to be out tonight" he apologized from his position in the kitchen.

"Don't worry about it," she waved him off, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh our video player is broken, I was just planning on using yours," he answered.

The woman walked over and flopped tiredly onto the couch, "What are we watching?" she asked.

"Titanic," he answered grabbing the cassette off of the table and walking over to the lounge area, "I haven't seen it yet and everyone is always going on about how good it is."

"Oh it's great," she said excitedly.

The two settled into an embrace on the couch and watched the movie together. When it was finished the woman turned to her side and switched on a lamp before turning back only to find a very misty eyed best friend beside her.

"Oh sweetie, are you alright?" she asked softly while stroking his arm.

"Yeah I just have something in my eye," he answered unconvincingly.

"You don't have to lie to me." She bore her blue eyes into his fudge brown ones and his resolve finally broke.

"Those two had only each other and then he died and she had to live without him for like a hundred years. She had to marry someone else and she couldn't even talk to people about him. It's all that stupid mans fault who wanted to make the ship go faster to, I hate that man."

"Oh sweetie, it's alright, they were together at the end," she said while rubbing his back in an effort to comfort him.

"Yeah but they had to die to be together, that sucked!"

The two sat on the couch for quite a while talking about the movie before finally drifting off to sleep, only to be found hours later by their other four friends.

Now here he was, back in the present, those memories and many others playing like a motion picture through his mind. It had only been one week since he realized he was completely and totally in love with the woman he had friends with for so many years. He truly had no idea how long he had been in love with her but he had an inkling that it was probably since around the time she waltzed into his life eight and a half years before, sopping wet, in a beautiful white wedding dress.

Joey Tribbiani took the final three steps into the apartment that was situated across from his, the last three steps into the next phase of his life.

"Hey Chandler, have you got a minute? I really need to talk to you," Joey asked his best friend.

"Yeah ok, is this a cold pizza talk or a left-over meatloaf talk?" asked Chandler going to the fridge.

Just when Joey was about to answer the apartment door burst open. It was Ross.

"Hey Chandler, I really need to talk to you," he exclaimed out of breath.

Chandler looked towards Joey who lowered his eyes, "Cold pizza," he answered quietly.

"Well can it wait?"

"Sure," he answered before turning to leave.

"I think I'm still in love with Rachel," he heard Ross say to Chandler and he could not bear to hear it. He kept walking and neither of the other two men noticed.

Six years had passed since that day, and Joey Tribbiani was now a completely different person. He had experienced love but he had also experienced loss. In all of his years he could only truthfully say he had been in love twice. The first time it had been a disaster, it had hurt him from the very beginning, and the second time it had ended in disaster. The second had ended a year ago from tomorrow, a day that he was dreading immensely.

He lived alone now. He had one of his best friends living across the way and family who were constantly on his doorstep. He had a brilliant job, a star in a hit T.V show, but that came at a price. Constantly he was put into the public eye. If he went to a bar to drown his sorrows he was labeled for months after as a tragic alcoholic who was still suffering after his recent loss, if he walked down the street an ignored the people who came up to him, he was labeled rude and insufferable. He was surrounded by people, by friends and by hundreds of adoring fans but he was alone, he had lost his will to live his life properly a year ago, and he did not know if he would ever get that will back.

A/N: I'd like to thank every person who took the time to read this. There is much more to come so please keep looking for the updates and also some feedback would be much appreciated, so if you could just leave a little review that would be fantastic.


	2. Photographic Memories

Disclaimer: I don't own either friends or Joey, nor am I making any money off this story.

Chapter Two ------

Joey entered his apartment after a long day on the set at work. He had been given the next few days off work due to personal reasons, a fact that he was very glad about. For the past week he had been haunted wherever he turned. Haunted by well-meant condolences, haunted by her smiling face on magazine covers. Tomorrow was a day he was supposed to use to remember, but he only wanted to forget. It would be so much easier to just forget.

"Hey Joey, you want some pasta," called Michael from the kitchen, when he entered the room.

"No, I'm good, I think I'm just going to go pack."

"But Joey, come on it's grandma's special recipe," said Michael trying to entice him.

"Look Michael, I just want to be left alone, don't you know what tomorrow is?" asked Joey slightly exasperated.

"Ah yeah, that's why I came over. It's fine, I understand. I'll just put it in the fridge. It should still be alright when you get back," he said referring to the pasta that was still steaming away in the pot on the stove.

Joey nodded in acknowledgment then asked, "Is Gina here?"

"Yeah she's just in there," he said pointing the room that he himself had occupied a few years ago.

"Can you just-," he began, but Michael cut him off.

"Mom already is."

"Thank you." Joey then continued on his way up the stairs and into his room.

Once inside of his room Joey flopped down onto his bed and stared unseeingly ahead at the wall. After a while his eye caught onto an old picture, it had been taken a little under six years ago. He smiled fondly at the memory. It was a memory of his first true love and the day he all but confessed to her how he felt. His mind went back to that day and began to play the memory like a movie inside of his head.

About six years earlier:

Life for Joey had been going slowly downhill for the past nine months. On Valentines Day Ross had told Rachel about how he felt about her and sure enough the two had gotten back together. Then the day Emma was born they had gotten engaged. Joey was happy for them, Rachel was always so radiant, Emma had her family and Ross was getting the girl of his dreams, he couldn't not be happy for them, but at the same time he was dying inside, he couldn't help but wish that it were he who was making Rachel so happy.

Today it was just he and Rachel out of the six, and Emma. They were at Joey's nephews christening. His sister Dina had had her baby about a week after Emma was born. The ceremony had already taken place and they were now at Joey's parents place for the reception.

"So Joe, how does it feel? Godfather to two babies in one month," Rachel asked with a playful smile.

"Yeah about that, are you sure it's alright me been Emma's Godfather? Are you sure that Ross doesn't mind?" he asked hesitantly, he did not want to give up his title but felt rather obligated to ask.

"Of course it is, Ross is fine with it." She was lying and they both knew it. Ross had wanted Chandler to be his child's godfather again but Rachel had put her foot down. Apart from her and Ross, Joey had played the biggest part in Emma's life to date. He was always with her, reading to her, singing or dancing around in front of her. He loved that little girl to bits and there was not a thing he wouldn't do to keep her happy.

"Well just as long as I'm not causing any problems between you and Ross," he said unsure.

"JOEY! Joey sweetie, can you come over here a minute," Gloria Tribbiani yelled from the next room.

"Sure Ma!" he yelled back before turning to Rachel, "I'll just be a minute."

"What's up?" he asked his mother once he reached her.

"You know perfectly well what's up Joey," she said exasperated, "You haven't been yourself for so long now, I want to know when you are going to tell that poor girl you're in love with her."

"How do you know about that?" he hissed surprised.

"Oh please, I'm your mother, how could I not know. Besides anyone who comes within a hundred foot radius of the two of you together would know it."

"But none of my friends know," he said.

"Well then you put your guard up further when you're around them," she sighed dramatically, "Joe you have to tell her, for her sake if not for your own. She is worried about you, I can see it in the way she looks at you."

"She's engaged Ma! Engaged to be _married! _I can't tell her. She is so happy and that's all I want from her, she just has to be happy."

"She could be happy with you Joe, she is always happy when she is around you," Mrs. Tribbiani stated.

"But I can't give her what Ross can," he said softly.

He had thought about what it would be like to tell Rachel his feelings so many times, but he had always come back to the conclusion that he never would.

"Look can we just drop it?" he asked with lowered eyes.

"No Joe, we can not just drop it. Look I'll give up on the telling her part of it, but this is killing you Joey. You're so different now. Do you remember when you were a little boy, what I used to tell you I loved about you?" she asked her son, worry clouding her features.

"You said you loved my soul, you loved how pure it was," he answered, his eyes still lowered, staring unseeingly at the floor.

"And what about your eyes?" she asked softly, grazing her boys cheek.

"You loved their sparkle and their glow."

"Your eyes have lost it Joey. They always made you look so young, so innocent, but now they make you look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders," she said while rubbing her sons hand in comfort.

"What am I supposed to do about it Ma?" he asked begging for an answer. This woman was his mother, one of his parents, parents were supposed to be able to answer any question that was thrown their way, it was in their job description, his mother had to have some semblance of an idea about what to do.

"I think you should go to L.A. Joey." Well she had an answer for him but it wasn't one he liked all that much, "Your career could really take off there and I know Gina would love to have some family around, all that she has had is Michael for so long now."

"Estelle always said I should move there but I never wanted to leave my friends, I never had a real reason driving me to go."

"But you have a reason now Kiddo, you are never going to tell Rachel how you feel, you have too good a heart for that, so go. If you stay you are going to die Joey." This was extremely hard for Gloria. She didn't want to see her boy leave New York but she couldn't stand to see him like this anymore.

"Look I have a job here, I'll start looking for one in L.A, but I'm not moving till I've found one," he said finally.

"And I'll tell Gina to start looking for an apartment for you, now you better go and stop Dina from blurting out your secret to Rachel," she said indicating where the two women were conversing.

Joey quickly spun around and raced across the room to where his little sister and Rachel were.

"Dina!" he yelled.

"What Joe?" Joey pulled her away from Rachel.

"She doesn't need to know," he muttered into her ear.

"Joey-,"

"No, I'm not going through this again, go talk to Ma!" And with that he walked back over to Rachel.

"What was all that about?" she questioned.

"Oh just family stuff," he answered vaguely.

"Right…" she said looking at him uncertainly, "Well Dina and I just got the cutest picture of Emma and Dylan. They were lying on the floor holding hands and smiling at each other. If it turns out right I'm going to get it framed and Dina wants a copy as well so don't let me forget to send one."

Rachel continued to babble on about different things and Joey just sat next to her and listened intently to every word that came out of her mouth. The whole time he had a tiny smile playing on his lips, the ease the woman spoke to him with, the beauty of her being and the way she expressed what she was saying just help him captivated. His mother was right, it was impossible not to tell that he was in love with her, even if it was an outsider just glancing at the two as they walked by.

Just before they were about to leave Mrs. Tribbiani stopped them and ushered them onto the sofa for a photo.

"Oh Ma, do we really have to do this?" Joey asked with a whine.

"Yes Joe, you need some memories to take with you," answered Gloria.

"Ma!" he exclaimed.

"What?" Rachel asked uncertainty.

"Never mind, lets just get this done hey," said Joey.

"Good, now Joey you sit there and hold Emma," she said indicating a spot on the lounge,

"Rach, sweetie you sit there and… Dina, where's Dill." Dina scooped the little boy off of the floor and handed him to her mother, "And you hold Dylan."

Once they were all in position Joey turned to Rachel to apologize.

"Sorry about this Rach, you know how parents can be."

"Have you not met my father Joe, of course I know parents." The two shared a smile at that.

They got caught up in the moment and for that small amount of time the sparkle returned to Joey's eyes, he looked alive again, just like he used to, except now he looked alive and completely in love.

The moment ended however when the camera flashed bright in their faces.

"Hey! Ma we weren't even looking at the camera," exclaimed Joey.

"That's alright Joe, you know how I like to catch natural moments," she said with an oddly furtive smile, "Now you two better be off before it starts getting dark. I've got a cab waiting for you out the front."

"Thank you for having me Mrs. Trib," she said handing over Dylan and giving the woman a hug, then she turned to Joey, "Can you bring Emma out? I'll just grab her things."

"Not a problem," answered Joey. He watched her walked away and let out a deep sigh before turning back to his mother.

"I can't say I blame you for loving her Joey. You sure do know how to pick the good ones. It would be better if she were single though. I think that Rachel is one of the only girls I'd approve of for my Joey."

The ride back to the city was long and silent. Emma was sound asleep on Joey's lap and Rachel was staring out of the window in deep thought. Finally the taxi pulled up in front of their respective apartment blocks. They paid the driver and got out.

"Do you want me to help you up?" asked Joey once they had unloaded everything.

"No we are coming up to your place," she answered shortly.

"Ok… Why?"

Rachel didn't answer, she just stalked right passed Joey with all the baby stuff in hand and went straight into his apartment building.

Once inside Joey's apartment Rachel pulled open a portable cot and watched as Joey gently lowered Emma into it.

"What's going on Joe?" she asked in a soft but forceful tone.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb with me Joey, tell me what's going on!" she demanded, her voice growing louder with each word.

"Rach, I don't know what you're talking about." This couldn't be happening, he should have been more careful.

"Do not lie to me Joey!" Rachel yelled at him.

His walls started to become stronger after that, he went cold, his resolve was strong, he couldn't let Rachel in.

"It's none of your damn business what's going on with me Rachel! Just get out, go home, I don't want you here anymore!"

Tears started to leak out of Rachel's eyes as he yelled at her and Emma too started to scream. At the sight of his favorite girls crying, that resolve which he had thought to be so strong began to crack.

"I'm sorry," he muttered meekly.

Rachel walked silently over to Emma and took her across the hall. She was back only a minute later.

"Monica's watching Emma, now talk to me Joey, tell me what's wrong with you."

"Rach, I… I can't."

"Please Joey, let me in. I want to know what all that secretive behavior was today, I want to know what you mum meant by that memories thing and I want to know why you haven't been yourself for so long now. I swear the only person you're letting in is Emma, and I guess sometimes me. Now tell me what's going on Joey."

"Rach…" he trailed off.

"Just let it out sweetie," she encouraged.

"You have to promise not to tell anyone," he said.

"I promise," she said without hesitation.

"No you have to really promise, like a… a cobra's promise," she said while smiling at the memory.

"Cobra's honor Joey," she said also smiling at the memory of the day they formed the gang to fight Chandler over the chair.

"I'm in love," he finally breathed out.

"Joey that's great," she exclaimed, eyes lighting up.

"And she's in love," Rachel's eyes lit up more, "With another guy," and then they dropped. "They've been together forever and all she sees me as is her goofball friend."

"Joey… how long?" she asked hesitantly.

"Well I realized it about nine months ago but you know how I can be slow, I think I have been for years."

"You must really be in love to still feel this way after so long Joe."

"I am… These feelings, they get stronger every minute I'm around her. When I'm not around her the only thing I can do is think about her." As he said this, his eyes were so intense it was beginning to scare her.

"How do you know her?"

"Work," he answered shortly.

"Maybe it will help if you can talk about her. Tell me everything Joe."

"She's beautiful, like an angel but better. I swear in the right sunlight you can see a halo around her head. She has these eyes that change with her moods. You can read her like a book if you look into them. She has this small body that makes me just want to protect her, to stop anything that even looks like it could be bad from going near her. And you know what, her looks are great, beyond great, beyond wonderful, but that's not her best part. She has the best personality; she's so kind, so sweet. She gets me you know, like no one else ever has, I don't know how to explain it. She has her problems, her little quirks but I think I'm in love with them just as much as I'm in love the rest of her."

Throughout that whole speech Joey did not look into her eyes once. She thought it was because she was ashamed or shy or something but he knew if he looked at her she would figure it out.

"You know," he continued in a soft voice, "Someone once told me that you know you are in love when you can define it. I always thought that was stupid, I love my family and my friends, I know what love is but you have no idea how right that person was. I know what love is now Rach, it's when you feel so deeply about a person that no matter if they have a million little quirks that annoy you to no end, you would not change a thing about them, I know that now."

"You have to tell her Joey. If you say those things to her I bet she'd leave the other guy and run off with you."

"She's happy with him," he said quietly, "And I've already had this conversation twice today so can we just drop it?"

"What about that thing your mum said… the memories thing," Rachel asked slightly fearful.

"I can't stay here much longer Rach, it's killing me. I'm going to start looking for work in L.A."

"You're leaving?" she asked beginning to cry once again.

"Not right away, it could even be a couple of years."

"Oh god Joey, you poor thing… Come give me a hug." She pulled him in tight. "Just always remember that I love you ok." She had absolutely no idea how much that statement killed him.

"I love you too Rach, I love you too." And she had no idea how true that was.

Joey finally pulled his eyes away for the photo which was of himself and Rachel looking so happily into one another's eyes while the babies sat soundlessly on their laps, and pulled himself out of the memory and sat up so he could begin to pack. He was leaving for New York in a few short hours. He was going back there to remember his second love, but right now remembering anything else, even the pain of the first time he had been in love, was better then remember the end of his second.

A/N: Thanks for reading and thank you to all of you who were kind enough to leave a review. I hope to have the next chapter up before the end of the week, but I cannot promise anything. I know things are a bit confusing now but all of your questions should be answered within the next three chapters. Thanks again for reading.


	3. The best thing to ever have happened

Disclaimer: I don't own Friends or Joey nor am I making any money off this story, I just felt like writing.

Chapter Three-

Hours later Joey was onboard the plane on his way to New York. He was staring endlessly out into the night sky while trying to ignore the looks of pity he could see on the faces of those around him. The pity brought images to his mind. Images of a blonde hair, blue-eyed woman, with smiling white teeth and a cute dimpled cheek. They were images of the woman in of his dreams, the woman that was now only accessible in his dreams. They were images he didn't want to be seeing because all they brought him was heartache.

Joey tried desperately to find a distraction, anything to change his train of thought to something less painful. He looked beside him and caught site of the little boy who was sound asleep in the chair next to his. The boy was an adorable picture to look at. He was snoring softly and every once in a while was muttering something in his sleep. He had one of his tiny arms wrapped firmly around a slightly tattered looking bunny rabbit and his thumb on his other hand was resting partly inside his mouth. The boy, Joey decided, was absolutely gorgeous but he didn't provide the distraction needed to get him away from his thoughts.

Joey looked around the cabin for something that would do the trick and only seconds later the captain found one for him.

"Please fasten your seatbelts," said the voice of the captain over the intercom, "there appears to be some turbulence up ahead. And if anyone is concerned we are on schedule and will be arriving at Newark airport in approximately an hour and thirty minutes."

An hour and thirty minutes and he would be back in New York. That thought provided just the distraction he needed, it wasn't the best but it would do the job. His mind once again got caught up in the memory of events gone by.

Four Years Earlier –

It had been a little over a year since Joey had partially confessed his feelings to Rachel. They hadn't spoken of it much since that night, which was exactly how Joey wanted it. They hadn't spoken of the fact that he could be up and moving to L.A at any time either, but he'd have to speak of it now.

So much had happened in the past year, Joey had gotten back to been himself, well at least he had gotten closer, Chandler and Monica had decided to adopt and their baby was due in two months time. Phoebe and Mike had gotten married and were now living in bliss. Estelle had died which had forced Joey to get a new, better agent and about eight weeks ago Ross and Rachel had called off the wedding and Rachel and Emma (who had gotten ginormous) were back living at his place, or his and Rachel's place as he had referred to it for so many years now.

Chandler and Monica had asked everyone around to their apartment for dinner as they had some news, so here they were, the six friends, plus a Mike and an Emma.

"Well as you guys all know, the baby's going to be here in about two months," began Chandler, "Well we decided we needed a new home, a bigger home, where we could raise our child."

"What? Why?" came the calls from around the table, though Joey stayed strangely silent.

"We don't want to raise our child in the city," answered Monica. "We found a place just outside of it, it's a good neighborhood, a beautiful home. We just closed the deal, we're moving in six weeks from today."

They continued conversing on this topic for a good half hour before Joey finally broke his silence.

"Hey guys, I have an announcement as well," said Joey softly.

"What's up Joe?" asked Chandler.

"I've ah… I've gotten a new job. It pays much better and I'm the star, I think it's going to be a hit," he said trailing off.

"That's great Joe."

"Good for you."

"No," said Rachel softly, then in a louder more determent voice, "NO!" Everyone stopped and looked at her.

"Rach…" Joey trailed off.

"No Joey," she said softly, her eyes welling up, "You haven't even mentioned this in so long, I thought everything was getting better, you have been so much better lately."

The other occupants of the table were looking back and forth completely confused.

"Rach…"

"No Joey, you're not going anywhere." She was yelling now. She stood up, "Where the hell is that bitch, I want to pound on her so hard."

"No you don't Rach, no you don't," said Joey looking at her with soft eyes.

Rachel looked at Joey for a minute before stalking out of the apartment. He turned back to the rest of the table.

"The job, its… um, it's in L.A. I leave in three days. My sister found me an apartment, she reckons it has a great view but won't tell me what of. We ah… start shooting next week."

"Who was that Rachel said we were blaming this on?" asked Phoebe, "I want to pound on her too."

"It's no one, don't worry about it. Look I've got to go." And with that he scooped Emma up and went off to find Rachel, all the while leaving five very confused people in his wake.

"Rach?" he said lightly tapping her door.

"Go away Joey." He entered the room.

"Come on Rach, you know why I'm doing this, you know I have to go."

After a few minutes where the only sounds that were heard were Rachel's small sobs and Emma's gurgling, she spoke again.

"When do you go?" she asked.

"Three days."

"Oh god. I don't want you to leave Joey but I know that's not going to make you stay. I guess if you have to-,"

"And I do," Joey cut in.

"Well I want to spend your last days together. I'm sorry about before, it's just we've grown so much closer since you told me about mystery girl, I guess I just was hoping you would change your mind."

"Rach, I can't stay, I love that woman too much to be around her and not be with her and I love her too much to tell her how I feel."

"I know, come on," she said taking Emma from him and putting her down in the cot, "I'll help you pack."

The next two days passed by in a blur for both Joey and Rachel. They spent the whole time packing and shared laughter and tears along the way. Each of the other four friends stopped by occasionally to help out as well but Joey saw those two days as a time when Rachel was completely his.

The night before he was due to leave Monica and Chandler threw him a going away party, which gave him a chance to say his goodbyes to everyone. He couldn't believe he was doing this, he was leaving his life behind, his safe little world, but it was the right thing to do, that he was certain of.

At about 10:30 Joey decide he better leave as he still had a bit of packing to do. He had said goodbye to everyone except Rachel. They were going to say them later in the night, after they had watched Cujo. Quite why Rachel wanted to watch Cujo again Joey had no idea, but she suggested it and he couldn't say no.

"Um everyone," he called, "I just wanted to thank you for coming and thanks for all you've done for me over the last ten years, I've got to be going now so goodbye… oh and Ross and Rachel, don't forget to send me an invitation to the wedding. I don't want to miss it." Actually, he thought, he would be quite glad to miss it.

"Um Joey, we broke up, you know that," said Ross confused.

"Yeah but you guys are Ross and Rachel, you'll get back together," and with that he left.

He had only been in his room sorting through clothes for three minutes when a knock sounded at the door.

"Come in Rach," he called.

"All right Mr. Matchmaker, what was all that about?" she asked while entering the room.

"Nothing," he said smirking at her, "Come on are you going to help?"

An hour later his life was packed up into thirty boxes and he and Rachel were settling into the lazy-boy to watch the movie. Fifteen minutes into it he realized he was back where it all began. His arms were wrapped around Rachel, protecting her from the bad happenings on the screen. His heart was beating wildly, just as it was the first time they watched this together. There were some differences however. His feelings were so much stronger this time, so much deeper.

"Aren't you scared?" asked Rachel.

That was another thing that was different. This time he calmly wrapped his arms tighter around her and whispered,

"You get used to it after a while and it gets pretty damn great." He couldn't help but smile.

"You're crazy Joe," she mumbled.

"I know Rach, I know."

Nighttime past and morning came. The six were standing in Joey's kitchen saying their very last goodbyes. The other five were standing in a line with Chandler first.

"Man," said Chandler.

"Man," said Joey with a smile. That was all that was needed, they hugged and Joey moved on.

"Phoebs, I'm going to miss you so much."

"I know. I still want to know who this girl is so I can pound on her a little bit," she said.

"If you ever do find out don't hurt a hair on her head." Joey gave her a hug then moved on to Monica.

"You know if you ever feel like coming over and cooking for me, you don't even need an invite."

"I'll come, I promise," she sobbed out.

"Ross, man. Any time you want to call, even if it is to talk about Dinosaur stuff."

"I know buddy. Nap partners for ever." They shook hands and Joey took a deep breath and moved to the right.

Now it was Rachel's turn. He couldn't do it, he didn't want to do it. He didn't want to say goodbye to the woman he loved. He spotted the nearest diversion and was about to take the chance to momentarily put off the horrendous task ahead but once he heard the sob escape her mouth he had to lift his head and look at her instead of the child in her arms.

"Rach, sweetie, don't cry," he said softly stroking the front fringe of her hair.

"I'm happy for you Joey, I just want you to know that. You deserve this, a fresh start and all. I wouldn't want you to not go," she said speaking through her cries.

"Don't try lying Rach, I can read your eyes like a book." He kissed her cheek. "I love you Rach, always remember that, always remember."

He turned to the others and quickly added, "I love all you guys." He was quite oblivious to the astonished look that had taken over Rachel's features.

"How come you're not taking the foosball table man?" asked Chandler in a quick attempt to divert the attention away from the emotional display they had just witnessed.

"It belongs here," he said simply, "Besides from what I hear Michael isn't exactly the foosball playing type."

"What about the couch?" Monica questioned.

"That belongs here too, and it's Rachel's. Don't let Chandler take it Rach it's ours not his. Us Cobra's have to stick together," he glanced at Rachel and was about to say more but the way she was looking at him all but petrified him. He had to leave.

"Goodbye everyone." He turned to walk away.

"Aw bye Joey." The voice was Phoebe's.

She ran forward and flung her arms around him, gave him a swift kiss on the cheek, then all but ran out the door. Monica soon repeated the actions and Ross followed her out but instead gave him a short hug.

Chandler walked up to him and gave him one last hug.

"They probably just didn't want to see you leave Joe, I've got to go too, I'm sorry." And with that he left.

Joey walked over to Rachel and Emma and took Emma off of her mom.

"Goodbye baby girl," he said, then lent in and kissed her on the top of her head.

"Bwy Oey," she said wrapping her arms around his neck. "When Bwak?"

"Not for a long time baby, you'll probably be a big girl and smarter than your Uncle Joey by then."

He handed the little girl back to Rachel and slowly raised his head to look at her face.

"Joe-,"

"I've got to go Rach."

He leant in and kissed her cheek. His lips lingered on the spot for a much greater time then was required. Slowly Rachel turned her head until her lips were upon his and she moaned as they brushed against one another ever so lightly. He closed his eyes and took in the intoxicating scent of her perfume, memorized the exact feel of her sweet supple lips and they exact sound that escaped her as she moaned.

"I've got to go."

The moment had passed and reality had to be faced, he turned and walked out of the door. He didn't look back either, not even when he heard the sound of Emma crying or the sound of Rachel's strangled voice calling his name. He kept on walking because he was walking towards a future full of hope, if he looked back he knew that Rachel would come to her senses and realize what they had just shared had been a in the moment thing and nothing more but he also knew if he looked back there was very little chance that he would be able to leave. So he kept walking and for the first time in two years he was walking towards somewhere that had a silver lining.

His parent's, Dina and Dylan met him when he arrived at the airport. They followed him into the terminal as far as they could before they needed a ticket to progress with him any further. He had just finished saying goodbye to them when he heard a voice behind him.

"You kiss me and then you run away. Is that just part of been Joey Tribbiani? Is that just what you do?" It was Rachel, a very broken down Rachel.

"Rach… What do you want from me?"

"It's me isn't it? The woman you are so desperately in love with, the woman who is driving you away?"

"No, it's not, it's someone else Rach. That… that thing that happened… that was just a strange thing that happened because of the emotions things because I'm going away," said Joey looking determinately into her eyes.

"I don't believe you," she said staring right back.

"It's true," he lied.

"You can read my eyes like a book." Out of the corner of her eye Rachel saw Joey's mother and sister exchange confused glances at that comment, but she did not care, she knew that Joey understood exactly what she was implying by saying those words.

"You can read her eyes like a book if you look into them, that's what you said about mystery girl."

"Rachel…"

"That's what you said about her. I remember every word you said that night Joey, because I thought it was the most beautiful thing a man has ever said about a woman. I always thought how lucky she was to have you loving her." She took a deep breath, "Don't lie to me Joey."

"It's someone else Rachel."

Rachel lowered her eyes to the ground and shook her head with a humorless smile playing at her lips.

"Just remember you looked right into my eyes when you said that, you looked right into my readable eyes just then Joey." And she left.

Joey stared absently after her for a minute before turning back to his family.

"Don't look at me like that Ma." Dina Tribbiani shook her head sadly, but Gloria just look pissed.

"Joseph Francis Tribbiani! What are you doing? You told us that you didn't want to tell her because she was happy, because she was engaged, because there was no way in hell that she could ever love you back. Looking at her just then all those things proved to be false. She wasn't happy, she wasn't engaged, there was no ring on her finger and by the fact that she kissed you I think it pretty safe to say that she could love you back."

"Ma… She belongs with Ross, they're lobsters," said Joey.

"Lob- What? Joey I don't care about Ross, I care about you. God knows someone's got to do it. Your unhappy here, I understand that, but you could be happy here, you could stay, you just have to put yourself first for once and go after that poor girl. I don't believe that anyone could ever love her like you do, be they her lobster or not."

"She's right Joey and you know it. You can be really stupid sometimes big brother but don't let now be one of those times. You love her, just let her know that and then let her make the decision on her own. You owe yourself that much, what's the worst that could happen, you're leaving anyhow," said Dina gently. "Look I noticed something between the two of you when I went to tell you about Dylan, that was before you even knew."

"You guy's her and Ross belong together, you'd know that if you saw them together when they were dating. I can't make her chose between us, it'll break her apart and I can't do that to her. I can't hurt her."

"You just did Joe," said Dina softly.

"Only because I love her, she'll move on and get over that."

"Well too bad Joe, I think she knows now," said Dina while glancing over the top of his shoulder.

He couldn't turn around. He didn't want to know how long she had been standing there for, he just wanted to get onto his plane and let all of this be over with. He just wanted to begin his new beginning already. He watched as his family walked past him and away. They didn't even say goodbye. He guessed they were just assuming that he would be staying now so there was no point in doing so.

After a few seconds of just staring blankly ahead, he felt her warm breath flow in rhythmic patterns onto the back of his neck.

"Joey…"

He turned around, tears were leaking out of her eyes, her beautiful face was been damaged and he was the one causing it. It was his worst nightmare.

"Rach…" They stood there for a moment before she spoke again.

"Look into my eyes Joey." He did. "Now let your walls down." He did. "Oh my god," she whispered with a strangled cry.

His look was intense. It was filled with deep passionate love. A love that was unconditional.

And then she kissed him. It was a kiss that took him up above the clouds. It was more then he ever imagined it to be. It was soft and tender, but passion fueled at the same time. They each rose one hand and bound them together by interlacing their fingers. Rachel's other hand was gripped tightly onto the back of Joey's neck, while Joey's was softly grazing the flesh upon her face. It went on for what felt like an eternity and the world felt as though it deserved to end when they finally had to break apart due to lack of oxygen. That was enough to bring Joey back to his senses.

"Rach… I've got to go or I'm going to miss my plane," he said, his eyes welling up.

"No Joey, don't go, please don't go," she begged him.

"You belong with Ross Rach, you know that," he whispered softly into her ear.

"No Joey," she cried, grabbing onto his shirt. "Joey please…"

"Come on Rach, let go." He was crying now too.

"No Joey, why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Because you didn't deserve the pain of knowing. Go Rach, go back to Ross, have a life together, give Emma a family, I just have to go."

"I love you Joey." He smiled slightly through his tears.

"I know you do Rach, I know." He kissed the top of her head, "I'll love you for an eternity, now go home," he said, detaching her hands from his shirt, "Go home Rachel."

She took a couple of steps backwards before lunging forward and giving him one last sweet kiss, and then she turned and walked away, disappearing into the crowd who were going about their own business rushing all kinds of directions through the airport.

On the plane ride to L.A a thousand memories of Rachel rushed through his head, but the most prominent was the most recent. That Kiss. He would never fall out of love with Rachel, that he was sure of, but he would be able to move on, be able to live in L.A. and not just survive like he was in New York. He hoped that he might even be able to find a woman that he would actually be able to give his love to. Falling in love with Rachel had taught him many things, but the most important was that love is a gift to be shared, it isn't something which should be bottled up inside because it is very capable of killing the people who try.

When he arrived at Los Angeles airport he walked out of the terminal only to hear his name been called.

"Joey!"

Then he saw her, his older sister Gina, racing toward him. She took one look at his face then said, "Don't worry Hun, we'll get you over her."

'And that she had,' thought Joey, coming back to reality. He had moved on with his life and had fallen in love again, this time with someone he didn't have to hide his feelings for, that he could go after freely. In retrospect Joey knew that moving out to L.A had been the right thing to do. He knew he was trying to not to think about all that had happened to him in the past four years but despite how much easier it would be to just forget, he didn't want to ever forget those events which had transpired, because it had been the happiest time of his life. His move to L.A had been the best thing to ever happen to him and the evidence for that was sound asleep in the chair beside him sucking his thumb with his arm wrapped around his mothers brown bunny.

A/N: Thank you once again for reading. A review would be greatly appreciated. The next chapter will be more flashbacks, this time into Joey's life in L.A and of him falling in love once again. After that the story will begin taking place more so in the present. Once again thanks. Oh by the way can you please not hate this chapter because I absolutely love it.


	4. Hailey Cole

Disclaimer: I don't own Friends or Joey, nor am I making any money of this story, I just wrote it because I wanted to.

He was walking alone, through the thick green grass, below the tall billowing trees, towards a place he never wanted to see. He had only been to this place once before and the day of that visit had been the second worst day of his life. He didn't want to be here but at the same time he couldn't think of anywhere else he'd rather go. Today was the day, the day he had vowed he would stop running from his memory's, stop running from his past and start to learn to live again, but most of all today was the day he was going to remember, he was going to remember the best part of his life.

Four years earlier –

It had been six months since Joey had left New York. His show was doing great and had already earned him a position on the front page of 'People' magazine. America had already grown to love him, not so much that he could say he was horribly famous, but more so then he had ever been while staring in 'Days of Our Lives'. These days he was known as Joey Tribbiani, that gorgeous guy on that hilarious new show 'It's a men's world'.

"Are the contestants ready?" asked the judge standing to the right of the stage.

Two nodded but one shook his head.

"There's someone missing," said Joey, indicating the empty chair to his left.

"Yeah, she's running late, we've waited as long as possible but we have to get started," said the judge, before continuing, "Pick up your forks."

Joey did so and stared down in excitement at the dozen pies that lay before him. Been a celebrity was awesome. The things you got to do for charity, eat as many free pies as fast as you could, it was his kind of thing. He looked to his left, two skinny, unimpressive looking actors, there was no way they would beat him. He was quite obviously a shoe-in for this contest.

"On your marks, get set, g-,"

"Wait!" yelled a slightly exasperated woman pushing through the crowed towards the stage.

"It seems our forth contestant has arrived," said the judge excitedly, "Please welcome Hailey Cole to the stage."

There was uproar from the audience when they realized who it was. Hailey Cole, what was the likes of her doing at an event like this, she was too good for such a thing, too high up the Hollywood scales to worry about the little people. She was loved by America and she was at a pie-eating contest at a small, outcast mall. The thoughts in Joey's head were quite different however, he couldn't believe his luck, they had put him up against two of the skinniest actors alive and a woman who was famous enough that it was very likely that she had an eating disorder of some kind, and the looks of her size two figure just made that possibility even more probable.

Hailey sat down and quickly shot the three on stage an apologetic smile for running late. The judge began again and the contest was soon underway. Joey was in heaven. Blueberry, apple, and many other flavors of pie were hurriedly consumed.

"And we have a winner!" the judge announced loudly and the crowd cheered.

"What?" Joey asked shocked, looking up from the remnants of his second last pie.

He looked to his right determined to see which skinny ass had beaten him. He was shocked to note that both still had four pies to go. 'It couldn't be,' he thought to himself, 'it was absolutely impossible'. He turned his head to his right. Her plate was empty. He couldn't believe it. A woman beat him.

"What? Are you pregnant, tell me your pregnant!" he exclaimed.

She shook her head, "No, no I'm not," she said amused and let out a small laugh as he hung his head in shame. The crowd laughed along with her, muttering about how adorable Joey Tribbiani was.

"Don't worry honey, I've never lost a pie-eating contest in my life, I've beaten many other men before."

"Neither had I," whined Joey.

He looked over at her and their eyes connected for a brief moment. He captured her bright, laughing blue eyes with his own soft brown ones and he couldn't help but be entranced. There was a definite connection there and that fact scared him. He hadn't been with a woman since leaving New York. He had had many offers but had never been able to commit.

He pulled out of the connection rather abruptly and got up to leave. He muttered a quick "congratulations" as he hurriedly walked by her, but a playful voice stopped him in his tracks.

"What no handshake?" she asked.

He turned and stretched out his right hand.

"You know," she continued, "I was thinking we could all, the four of us that is, go out for drinks or something."

"Ah yeah that sounds good, I'll buy your first one as a congratulations of sorts," Joey said awkwardly.

"Mmm, sounds good to me," she said smiling coyly.

Hours later they found themselves alone together in a dingy L.A bar. The other two contestants had left rather early and it was late enough that the rest of the patrons had started to clear out also.

"Oh come on, you have to be making that one up," exclaimed the blue eyed beauty throwing her head back with laughter, "You can't be serious, you lit a bowling ball on fire?"

"It's true, I think I freaked Chandler and Ross out so badly, but hey, it doesn't take much to freak Chandler out," he laughed.

"Yeah I kind of got that impression," said Hailey laughing once again.

"Come on, now you go. What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?" said Joey with a sudden mock serious expression.

"Are you trying to tell me that that's the stupidest thing you've ever done?" she asked while raising an eyebrow.

"Well no," he said sheepishly, "but that's not fair, I've done a lot of stupid things. Now come on tell me."

"Alright, alright," she submitted finally, holding her hands up in surrender. "Well, it was only about a year ago. I had a real blonde moment. I was watching T.V with my brother and an add for 'That 70's Show' came on. The priest guy on it was talking to the young guy…I forget what his name is. Anyway, the priest goes to the young guy 'I don't get high on LSD… I get high on G.O.D' and me in a pure blonde moment asks my brother in a completely confused voice, 'What's Jod?' and my brother just looked at me…it took me about five minutes to work out what I said." She finished her story and looked at Joey completely unabashed, finding no embarrassment in it, only humor at her own expense.

"Jees, not even I'm that dumb," said Joey laughing at her story.

"I beg to differ," she said not believing that for one second.

"Do you want another drink?" asked Joey.

"Um… just let me check the time." She reached into her bag and pulled out her cell phone. "Holy hell, its 2am!"

"What?" Joey asked incredulity.

"I better be getting home," she stated.

Hailey got off the bar stool and started for the door but almost fell over in the process. She laughed loudly as she stumbled into the table in front of her.

"God how much did you have to drink?" asked Joey, also rising. He too stumbled a bit.

Laughing loudly Hailey asked, "Me you're the one falling over yourself." They were both completely oblivious to their slurring words and weren't even aware of the bar tender directing them outside and putting them into a cab. Joey told the driver his address and they sped off to his place.

"I had a really great night tonight Joey," Hailey said after a moment of silence.

"I did too," he said, "I haven't had that much fun in so long. It's been a while since I laughed hard enough for wine to come out of my nose."

"Wine?" she asked laughing slightly, "Wasn't it beer?"

"Yeah it was now I think of it," he chuckled, "kind of stung a bit, its not as smooth as wine." They laughed together once again. The laughter however came to an abrupt standstill when their eyes connected.

Joey didn't know if it was the alcohol, or the months of absentness or something else but he couldn't seem to stop himself from leaning in and placing a delicate kiss on her sweet, supple lips. The kiss deepened rather quickly and before either one of them knew what was happening they were in Joey's bedroom tearing off each other's clothes.

"I shouldn't be doing this," murmured Hailey, "We shouldn't be doing this."

"We don't have to do this," said Joey before hungrily kissing her once again.

She moaned into him before pulling away once again, "I just got out of a huge relationship, I shouldn't be doing this."

Joey pulled away, looked over her gorgeous face and stated, "We can stop. You can walk away right now if you want to."

Hailey looked up at him and stared deeply into the chocolate swirls of his eyes. She became lost in them and all her worries flew away.

"I don't want to stop, I don't know why, but I don't want to stop," she stated in a husky voice.

"Your beautiful, you know that," said Joey, and for the one of the first times in his life he truly meant it.

Hailey blushed which was not something Joey was expecting. She was a movie star. Movie stars don't blush for complements.

"You said that so sincerely, no one has said that to me like that in a very long time." She lifted her head off the bed and captured him in a deep, passionate kiss.

The rest of the night Joey was in euphoria. Never before had he spent a night with a woman that felt like that. As the night went on he felt a part of himself come back, a part of himself that he hadn't been in a very long time. Bits of it were exposed at the club earlier in the evening but he could feel it full fledged now. He was back, and it was this woman who brought him back, this woman that he barely knew and he was sure that was completely out of his reach. He was capable of getting a hypothetical 11 in looks, but this woman surpassed that with just personality alone.

Morning arrived and Joey had only a fuzzy recollection of the events that took place the night before. He woke feeling complete but one glance to the left made that feeling dissipate. The other side of the bed was empty.

He walked downstairs to find everything as it usually was. Michael was sitting at the table studying, Gina was in the kitchen making eggs and Alex was standing off to the side of Gina trying to think of comebacks to the insults Gina was throwing at her and failing miserably, but Joey had to admit, her attempts were far better than they'd been months ago.

Life went on normally from that day on. Joey didn't speak a word of his night with Hailey Cole and knew she hadn't either. He'd seen her on T.V a few times since the night, walking down the red carpet at various events and always sent a silent thank you to her. She had brought him back. His family had noticed it and Alex had noticed the changes in him. He was alive and happy too. The sparkle in his eyes had reappeared. He was moving on from Rachel and it was such a great feeling. He noticed other girls in the street these days and even wondered why nothing had ever happened between him and Alex. That wonderment only lasted a brief moment before she slapped him on the arm and exclaimed rather defensively that she was married.

* * *

Joey was nearing his destination by now. Flowers surrounded the area he could see in the distance, the area he was heading towards. He was dreading reaching where his feet were taking him, he didn't know if he was ready to go there again but he had to. That was a fact, not a decision by any means. He absolutely had to. And if he were facing the truth, he could admit if he didn't have to he would still go. It was time to say goodbye.

A/N: Terribly sorry about the delay. I've been really busy, I'm in the middle of exams at the moment. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, you guys have been so kind. Please continue to do so.


	5. Beginning the Goodbye

Disclaimer – I don't own friends or Joey, I just wrote this story.

Chapter Five –

Goodbye. It was a word he'd grown to detest. It meant that things were changing, that lives were going in different directions. It meant it was time to reminisce, to remember what had come to pass and to dream of what could have been or what could be. It meant terrible things to Joey and it was a word he'd had to use too many times in his life.

He'd had done all he could to continue to recall the torturous times he'd had when Rachel was the love of his life, but it wasn't her day, it was a Hailey's. Rachel had shown him love but Hailey, Hailey had let him live in love, had shown him how to experience it how it was meant to be experienced. Hailey had returned his love. It was her day. He'd already begun and he'd have to continue, he had to remember that love that Hailey had lived with him.

---------

Joey walked onto the set ready for another day at work. He was excited for the filming to begin today as he was shooting his first romantic story line on the show. His show consisted of five main characters, all with equal airtime, all male and all single and searching for the perfect life. His character was completely unlike him. He was an asocial man who didn't know how attractive he was. He was hopeless around woman but constantly seemed to draw them to him. He had no moves and did not understand them but seem to be the most sexually active character of the group.

During his time on the show his character had had many one-night stands but before any relationship with a woman could begin his character had ended the romance. Today though his character was falling for a woman. It was not meant to last, the person playing his love interest had only signed on for six episodes, but it was enough.

"Ah there you are Joey," the producer called from the other side of the set.

Albert, the producer, walked over to him and greeted him warmly.

"Joey meet the woman who will playing Sam, your love interest," he said before looking over Joey's shoulder and calling, "Hailey can you come over here for a moment?"

"Hailey?" Joey asked, his eyes going wide.

Albert gave him an odd look before turning his attention back to the woman who was making her way towards them.

"Joey meet Hailey Cole," he said smiling at the pair.

His body went rigid as an incredibly awkward feeling washed over him.

He had no idea what to do. He more than knew this woman but no one knew that fact. After the night of the pie eating contest he had not seen or heard from her for over a month except of course for the occasional glimpse on E, and then at an awards show they had both attended they had met again. It had been an awkward meeting also, not as much so as this one, but it was awkward.

Their tables were near each other and therefore they had found themselves stealing glances at the other for the majority of the night. At times their eyes had connected and they had shared brief smiles before looking away with slightly red cheeks. The whole night they had been preoccupied with each other but neither of them had found the courage to get up and talk to the other. Hailey hadn't because she was embarrassed about how she had left things with Joey, and Joey because he was unsure if it was appropriate given the way she had left him.

They had both ended up leaving the event as soon as it was finished, boycotting any and all after-parties. When Joey had arrived back at his apartment he had only been slightly surprised to find her standing at his door. She had murmured his name as if she was going to begin an apologetic sentence, but any apologies that were in the making had been abruptly cut off by Joey's lips crashing into hers.

That had been the end of the awkward moments between them. A relationship had begun. It was not a normal relationship by any means. At first it had consisted of one thing, sex. When she was in town she would come to him and that would be all. She would leave the next morning and nobody would have even an inkling of an idea that they were together the previous night. As time progressed they began to get to know each other more. Instead of her sneaking out of his apartment in the middle of the night, she began to stay and they had the most amazing talks.

They learnt everything about each other, he had told her all about Rachel and how he was before that and she had told him about her last boyfriend, the boyfriend who had made her fear men, who had beaten her and treated her as a prize not a human being. When Hailey had told Joey these things he had found himself walking towards his bedroom door, still clad in his underwear, ready to hunt this guy down and kick his ass, as Ross would say. She had stopped him and their very casual and very secret relationship had continued.

Joey looked at Hailey with wide eyes and noticed that she was staring at him, her blue eyes apologizing silently.

"Actually we've already met," she said to Albert rather softly, "It was a charity thing about eight months ago."

"Hmm, that's nice," said Albert in a board voice. He then walked off to join another conversation.

"Look, Joey…" she began but Joey cut her off.

"Hailey, it's," he stopped and closed his eyes for a moment. "It's not a problem," Joey said softly and abruptly walked away.

That secret relationship had ended exactly a month ago to the day. She had returned from a two-week stay in New York early and went straight to his apartment. When she arrived she hadn't instantly run into his arms as was usual when they were reunited after a time apart, she hadn't even looked him in the eye, she had just quietly told him that she was ending whatever it was they had going on. Joey hadn't even been able to respond. He had just stood across the room from her shocked. She had walked up to him after she finished her speech and silently placed a delicate kiss on his cheek and then she had left. He hadn't seen her since, not in magazines, not on the television, and now here she was, working with him on his television show, playing his love interest, it was going to be awkward.

The day progressed and Joey worked hard to keep away from her. As soon as it was possible he left the studio and drove back to his apartment. On the drive he entertained the thoughts of running back to New York, running away from Hailey in the same way that he had run away from Rachel. When he walked through the door the first thing he saw was her sitting calmly on his couch and he realized that running away was not an option this time, he had to face his problems and he had to do it then.

"I let myself in," she said stating the obvious. She looked at him with pain etched across her features, her eyes voicing more apologies then her mouth ever could.

"Hailey…" He wanted to walk over to her, to stroke her cheek in the way that he used to, to kiss her in the way he dreamed of doing every night, but he didn't, he stayed exactly where he was, standing at the doorway, looking at the angel sitting on his couch. "What are you doing here?" he finally asked in a soft, pained voice.

------------

Back in the present day Joey had finally reached his destination.

He remembered the answer to that question but more so the absolute shock he had felt when the words tumbled from her lips. He had been barely able to breathe and had had to fight to stay standing. He smiled at that thought now, he had been horrified but those words that she had spoken had brought about the best thing in his life.

Joey looked down at what he had been walking towards and knelt down in the long grass before it. He looked at the white marble and ran his fingers across two of the words etched in the stone… _Loving Mother_.

-------------

Hailey looked at Joey from her position on the couch. Her hands twisted in her lap and she looked anywhere but at his face.

"Joey I'm pregnant."

A week later Joey found himself at the doctor's office hearing his baby's heart beat for the first time. The rhythmic beats turned his heart to mush and he found himself gripping Hailey's hand and leaning down to kiss her. What he hadn't expected was for her to pull away from him. He looked at her with confusion but she just looked away.

They left the office not long after with the first picture of their child in hand and he drove them back to his apartment.

"Us having a baby doesn't change anything Joey, I want things to stay like they are," she said once inside the apartment.

"But why? We're having a baby together, in six months time we could be a family."

"Joey I don't want to be with you because you think having a baby with me means you have to commit, I…" she trailed off not quite ready to complete that train of thought.

"Is that what you think? Hailey the baby isn't the reason I want to be with you," he said alarmed.

"Then what is Joey? Because before you never expressed any interest in anything outside of the bedroom," she asked softly.

"Why did you end it?" Joey questioned, eyes narrowed.

"That's none of your business," she snapped.

"Tell me why you ended it Hailey," Joey demanded, his voice rising.

"Because I fell in love with you," she yelled back.

"So you ended it? That doesn't make any sense."

"What did you want me to do? Keep sleeping with you? Keep sneaking around with you? I couldn't do that Joe, I just couldn't. It was killing me to think I was feeling all of those things for you and to you I was just a fricken sex buddy. I was protecting myself." The intensity of the pain in her eyes and in her voice as she said this caught Joey off guard.

"Hailey," he said softly, "I fell in love with you too, you were never a fricken sex buddy. I just didn't think you were ready after your last relationship, that's why I never said anything."

For a length of time Joey and Hailey simply stood there, a body length apart, staring at each other while the admissions they had just made sunk in.

"So you… you love me," said Hailey not shifting her gaze.

"An… And you love me," he stumbled over his words. "We love each other."

"Well that's interesting," she said lightly.

"Interesting… hmm yeah. Can I kiss you now?"

She didn't reply with words, but simply smiled the smile that made him go weak at the knees. He moved forward and captured her lips with his and for the first time in over a month saw stars where there was usually just darkness.

"Joey!"

The voice startled them and pulled them from their embrace. He spun around quickly and saw Gina and Michael standing in his doorway.

"Oh my god, your Hailey Cole," exclaimed Gina. "Joey why are you kissing Hailey Cole? Big fan of yours by the way."

"Well that's good," said Hailey lightly, her eyes twinkling, "You are going to be my babies aunt, so I guess it's good you like me."

The chaos that followed that comment was enormous. Needless to say there had been a lot of punching, congratulations and questions involved.

Two weeks later Joey knelt in front of Hailey and slid a beautiful diamond ring onto her finger and ten days after that a close up photograph of Hailey's hand had appeared in People magazine, right next to a picture of Joey and Hailey sitting across from each other at a Burger King booth, holding hands.

-----------------

Present day Joey continued to kneel on the ground as these memories flashed through his mind. He moved his hand along to the next phrase that was etched into the white marble… _Loving Wife_.

A/N: Well that's another chapter done. I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a review. They are much appreciated. Flames are of course accepted and any constructive criticism is welcomed.


	6. Perfection

Disclaimer: I don't own friends or Joey, I just wrote this story. But I do own Hailey and am proud of that.

Chapter Six—

_Loving Wife_. He traced his fingers over each of the letters one at a time. Tears trickled silently down his cheek as he remembered what he once had and what he had lost. Living that part of his life had been the easiest thing he had ever had to do. Life had not been difficult to get up to in the morning, he could not remember even groaning at the thought of starting a new day, but remembering it, that became the hardest thing he had ever had to do. To remember what he had lost, to face the fact that he would never have it again was to face a very harsh reality, one which he didn't believe he would ever be ready for but knew he had to face for the sake of those around him, for his son and for he himself as well.

* * *

"Uncle Joey! Uncle Joey!"

Joey looked around and saw the owner of the voice detaching herself from her mother and running out of the airport terminal towards him.

"Baby girl!" Joey exclaimed as the girl jumped into his awaiting arms. "How have you been Em?"

"I missed you so much Joey," answered the three and a half year old. "Are we going to have fun like we did when I came to visit you with daddy?"

"Aw I don't know Em. I'm going to be really busy this time. You know I'm getting married tomorrow."

"I know Uncle Joey. I'm the flower girl remember!" exclaimed Emma. "But Erica's the flower girl too, why couldn't I do it by myself, Jack gets to be pageboy by himself?" she asked, looking annoyed.

"That wouldn't be fair if Erica had to miss out Em. And he doesn't anyway, Dylan's going to be pageboy as well. Where is everyone else anyway?" Joey asked, realizing that he had only seen Emma and, very briefly, Rachel, when there was supposed to be a whole lot more people.

"They went to get the bags and everything. Uncle Chandler told mommy and me to come meet you so you wouldn't get worried," she explained hurriedly.

"Hi Joey."

Joey turned and beautiful green eyes swarmed into his brown. Silently, he placed Emma back on the ground. He took in the woman before him. Her hair was still the same light brown, her eyes still the same green but she looked different to what he remembered. She appeared more fragile, more worn. He supposed motherhood combined with age must have taken some toll on her. But nonetheless she still was one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen.

"Hi Rach."

She smiled at him slightly as he said her name. For the moments while he was conversing with her daughter she had stood back and simply watched and remembered. She remembered the man she knew for all those years and saw him smiling at her daughter. He had found himself again. He was no longer the broken man that had left New York. He was happy. He was in love. The child in him was back. The light in his eyes was shinning again. And as she realized that he truly was happy with his life as it was, she couldn't help but be happy for him. As much as she wanted to wish that he had stayed in New York with her, just as she had been for the past year and a half, she couldn't bring herself to. She had to let go.

Even with this in mind she couldn't help but think of the last time she had had any contact with him. It was a contact that came in the form of a box, three months after he left.

Her birthday had rolled around and with it came another surprise birthday party. This time it was held at Monica and Chandler's new house. It was a good party but Rachel hadn't been able to get into the mood of it. She had looked around at the house full of so many people she loved and had only been able to see an empty space. Joey had been missing. She hadn't expected him to be there, they hadn't even talked since he moved to L.A, but she had still hoped he would come for the occasion.

Once the party had dissipated and there were only the five friends and their children and husbands left, the present opening had begun. And that was when Chandler presented her with the box from Joey.

Rachel had pulled out item after item, trying desperately not to cry before the watchful eyes of her friends. First came a baby pink Barbie skateboard. A note was attached. It read 'I went back for it, try not to break your but this time'. She had let out an odd laugh at that.

Next item out was a large penguin, Hugsy. This too had a note attached to it, it said 'For Emma, just something so that she doesn't feel left out, he's missing you baby girl'. Rachel had passed Hugsy over to the little girl who had clapped her hands delightedly at been reunited with her friend.

Next Rachel had pulled a white T-shirt out of the box. She had turned it over to find 'Cobra's' written in big red letters. The note said 'Tell Chandler that half the gang might be gone, but the spirits still alive'. As she had laughingly thrown the shirt across to Chandler, she hadn't been able to stop herself from thinking of the symbolic meaning of that. He may be gone, but his spirit remained.

A Titanic DVD was the thing from the box. This ones note read 'The initials of Jack and Rose can also be for Joey and Rachel. Jack let go of everything for his Rose. I did the same for mine. You have to live and be happy Rach. Go to your true love. Never give up sweetie'. That was the item that had broken her. Tears had begun to leak out of her eyes. The others had looked at her alarmed but she had offered no explanation.

Through her tears she had delved into the box once more. The last item out was a picture frame with a card taped over the top of it. The card was not your typical birthday card but one which meant so much more. The picture on the front was black and white; it was of two children perched on top of the monkey bars in a park. The girl in the picture had light hair while the boys was black. Shakily, Rachel had pulled the card off the frame and opened it to read what was inside. It said 'I'll never forget what we had Rach, I will always remember it but I am moving on and you have to as well. It wasn't fair of me to tell you. It probably confused you so much. Remember what we had and you should understand. I know you love me, but you will never love me like that. You have a lobster and I've accepted that, you have to as well. Let go of me Rach, and marry your true love. Don't give up on that and maybe one day we will be able to have what we did again.'

Sobbing, Rachel had then looked down at the picture in the frame. It was the one from Dylan's christening. One look at the picture and she was lost as to why she never worked out that he loved her like he did. It was all there, written so clearly on his face.

"Rachel, what's wrong?" The voice had brought her back to reality. It had been Ross, looking at her with worry etched into his features.

She had looked around at everyone. The worry had been written on their faces as well. She had run from the room but a quick peak at the items from the box had told everyone all they needed to know. Joey's secret had been exposed, and they had not talked of it as a group since. The only people to say anything had been Rachel and Chandler, he had become her confidant and that was it.

Now as she looked at the man who was so alive and happy she knew she would finally have to do a he asked, she would have to move on.

Joey was about to say something more to Rachel but the rest of his friends exiting the airport distracted him. He moved swiftly over to the group and quickly engulfed Chandler in a hug.

The next morning Joey woke with a strange feeling. Something was missing. He rolled on to his side and quickly realized what that was. Hailey wasn't beside him. It was the first time in two months that he had awoken without her there and it was slightly disconcerting. However, the uneasy feeling was soon replaced by excitement. His wedding day had arrived.

Joey jumped out of bed and made his way downstairs but came to a standstill at the bottom. Sitting on his couch was his past. They were all so happy, smiling and laughing amongst themselves. It struck him as odd that he had left but they all seemed to be still together, especially since he was the one who was so against change.

He stood there for a moment and simply reminisced, but was abruptly brought out of his thoughts by a door slamming into his left side. He let out a yell and turned to look at the culprit, let out another yell and jumped around behind the railing of the stairs and hid.

"Oh my god! Joe I'm so sorry," said Hailey coming around to check on him with her hands over her eyes.

"Hailey! Get back. We aren't supposed to see each other," exclaimed Joey.

"Oh for god sakes, it's a stupid tradition anyway," she said, dropping her hand. "What were you doing standing there anyway?"

"Oh I'm sorry," said Joey sarcastically, his hands still over his eyes. "Do you always throw doors open like that?"

"Well we can see you two are going to be very happy together," Chandler said sarcastically from the lounge.

Hailey jumped, "There's people here, oh Joe it's your friends." She smiled brightly at them all and went to embrace them. All arguments were forgotten.

"Hails, what are you doing?" Gina asked, poking her head through the door. "Alex is about to have a hernia over here. I reckon if we leave it another minute she'll explode, wanna wait and see?"

"Sure," said Hailey, smiling at her sister-in-law, slightly evilly.

"I heard that you two!" came a voice. "Next time plan your own god damn wedding Hailey."

"Guess we better go, see you later Joe," she said while rolling her eyes at Gina, who smiled appreciatively. Hailey pecked him on the cheek and he bent down and kissed her round stomach, then she and Gina left to the apartment next door to get ready.

The day passed quickly and soon sunset was upon them.

Joey stood on a beach, barefoot with his suit pants rolled up to just above his ankles, his white shirt rolled to his mid forearm, staring in wonder as the sun began to set over the ocean. Behind him a priest stood, ready to perform the service. The guests were in front of him, on either side of a pebble-lined isle, smiling graciously.

He heard music begin and his heart began to pump even more wildly then it already was. Four small figures were the first down the isle, Emma and Dylan with Jack and Erica just in front. Next came Gina, her arm interlaced with Chandler. After that were Alex and Zac, then Juliet, Hailey's friend, and Michael came down. Finally it was her turn.

Hailey took his breath away. He could do nothing but stare at her. She looked absolutely stunning, four and a half months pregnant and glowing. With her blonde hair falling in curls down her back and her blue eyes shinning while she smiled her cute dimpled smile, she looked like an angel. She was the second angel he had ever come in contact with, except this one was his, this one was marrying him. And with that thought his heart stopped pounding and his eyes began to water. This truly was the happiest moment in his life.

He blinked and he was on the dance floor, a ring on his finger and his wife in his arms. Pulling her body up against his he could feel the bump where their child grew and he knew his life was complete. To him, the three of them were the only people in the world at that moment. It didn't matter that the woman he once loved with every bit of his being was dancing with her lobster while watching their child dance with Ben and Dylan, just across the room. He barely noticed Monica and Chandler dancing with their twins nearby, nor did he notice Phoebe and Mike sitting comfortably with their six-month-old daughter. It was just he, Hailey and their child.

Further into the night he was sitting down watching as Hailey danced with Chandler when his mother came and sat beside him.

"You did good with this one Joe. See your mother does know best right. Now you know not to question me. Your lights back my boy, and I think we have Hailey to thank for that." And with that she got up and left.

Four months past and Joey found himself standing over his wife as their son was placed in her arms for the first time. She looked up at him with tears in her blue eyes and smiled. He could only smile back and utter a single word. "Cole." She nodded and both their eyes slid back onto the child they created together.

Two days later Joey walked into his apartment with his son in his arms and his wife's hand in his. Together they walked to the room that Michael had once occupied. Hailey pushed the door open and Joey walked and placed the sleeping Cole in his cot for the first time. Together they stood over him and simply watched him sleep. Tears trickled out of Hailey's eyes and Joey pulled her close to his side.

"He's going to be hot isn't he," said Hailey. "Look at him, he's got blonde hair, he will hopefully get your eyes and most probably your olive skin."

Joey smiled gleefully and said, "I'm not going to have a problem teaching him how to work the women am I?" just as Hailey continued with "I'm going to be working overtime judging the girls that try to get into his pants."

Joey laughed and murmured in her ear "Don't judge them on first glance will you."

"Oh I plan to," responded Hailey.

His life was perfect. There was no other word to describe it.

Perfection could only last for so long.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed that. Please leave a review, I love them dearly. If you hated it, I would love to hear that. Next chapter should be up soon. I am sorry this one took so long but I wrote it ages ago and then I lost it and it took a lot to get the motivation to do it again. So sorry. 


	7. Walking Away

Disclaimer – I don't own friends or Joey, I just wrote this story.

Chapter Seven –

Joey moved his hand along to the next phrase etched into the white marble. He brushed his fingers over each individual letter slowly and deliberately. As he did so the tears, which he had been holding in for so long, began to dribble down his face. He was finally letting go. As his finger reached the last letter he looked over the phrase once more and remembered the day in which his perfect reality became no more than a memory, a dream.

* * *

Joey awoke to loud music bursting from his CD player on the floor below. Turning over he noted that the other side of the bed was empty. Not something which was an unusual occurrence since the birth of his son, a year and a half ago.

Walking down the stairs he couldn't help but laugh at the sight that met his eyes. His wife was in his shorts and a tank top, dancing in front of their son with a spoon full of cereal, trying to make him laugh enough to get him to open his mouth for her.

Joey couldn't help but stand back and admire the way she moved her hips to the music. It was entrancing. She was playing Good Riddance by Green Day, her all time favorite song, and Cole's favorite as well.

"So take the photographs and still friends in your mind…" she sang out, but was cut off by a bright flash.

"Sorry Hails but you just look too cute," Joey said with a smirk, putting the camera down.

She simply smiled at him and droned out the last line of the song "It's something unpredictable but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life."

"You really weren't born to be a singer were you," Joey said, and quickly ducked as a shoe came flying in his direction. Cole giggled hysterically at his parent's antics.

"I'm just going to get ready for work then, big day today," he said while pulling a face at Cole.

"You do that," said Hailey coldly, speaking for the first time.

"Yeah big day on the set today. I'm getting naked with some really hot woman." Joey quickly moved to the right as the other shoe to that pair sailed past his left ear.

He was just about up the stairs when a loud scream caused him to pivot and hurtle back down in the other direction. The sight he saw caused him to let out another loud laugh. Hailey was standing on top of the bench, looking down horrified at a spider on the floor.

"Jees Hails, its tiny, just kill it," said Joey.

"I would but all my shoes are over there," she said, pointing to where Joey was standing.

"And whose fault is that?" asked Joey with a smirk.

"Yours!" she exclaimed. "You know better than to insult my singing."

"Oh so it's my fault your terrible?"

"Watch it Tribbiani, or I might just have to take some of your toys away from you," she said, raising her eyebrows, as if challenging him.

"You don't have any of my… Wait you mean…" His eyes took in her body, indecision playing across his features, as she smiled at him evilly.

Swiftly, he turned and picked up a shoe, walked promptly over to the spider and smacked it until it curled up into a little dead ball. He then looked up at Hailey and opened his arms to her.

"My hero," she stated in a mock dramatic voice as she jumped down into his arms.

"I'll never tell you you can't sing again," he promised.

"We both know that's not true," she laughed.

"Well not this week then."

"It's Friday Joey," she exclaimed. He simply shrugged and cut off any more retorts by kissing her hungrily on the mouth.

"Oh really please, there's a child in the room," exclaimed Alex as she walked through the front door.

"Yeah you guys, get a room," Gina said as she followed Alex to the couch.

Everyone turned to look at Gina, but she shrugged off the accusations they were throwing at her.

"They're going to take Cole for the day. Trisha's busy and I have to go do this photo shoot," Hailey said.

Joey went to Cole and pulled him out of his highchair.

"Dada!" exclaimed the boy, clapping his hands. "Momma," he then said, trying to lunge across to where she stood.

"Whoa, you trying to make me drop you tiger?" said Joey as he cooed at his son. "You're going to have fun with Aunt Gina and Aunt Alex today while mommy and daddy are at work ok."

Cole nodded as if he understood what his dad was talking about.

"Here," said Joey, picking up a brown bunny off the ground and passing him to Cole, "You have to stop dropping Stroopy everywhere."

Hailey then took the boy from him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Go get ready. You have to leave in fifteen minutes. Albert is getting annoyed at you because you keep showing up late. You know he had the nerve to ring and tell me off for it last night. Seemed to think that I was the cause. Well I told him and he won't do it again. Only thing is I don't think I'll ever be invited back onto your show," Hailey ranted.

"Calm down, I'm going."

"You're whipped," Gina laughed as he walked by her. He didn't retort, just smiled.

When he came back down the stairs he had just enough time to kiss Cole goodbye before Gina and Alex were out the door with him. He walked to the kitchen and wrapped his arms around his wife's middle and gently kissed the sweet spot on her neck.

"Mmm Joe, you gotta get going," Hailey mumbled out.

"I don't have to, I can be late. Albert won't ring again if he met your angry side," he whispered huskily.

"You still gotta go." She moaned as Joey bit her ear. "The girls are taking Cole tonight. We have the apartment to ourselves for a couple of hours. Go and I'll make it up to you tonight all right. Just don't be late because I might have some very important news."

"Late for this? I'll be early girlie."

"Well Gina's got a thing this afternoon so she's coming by to pick him up at six," she stated.

"I'll be home at four." With that he picked Hailey up and placed her on the counter. Her legs wrapped around him and he pushed himself up against her, kissing her one last time. A minute later he was out the door, calling over his shoulder, "You've got flower on your cheek, just so you know. Well," he licked his lip, "at least you did. Love you."

"Love you too," called Hailey as he retreated out the door.

At five past four he walked through the apartment door once again. He expected to find Hailey and Cole in it but it was empty.

"Hails? You home?" he called. But got no answer.

Shrugging it off, he moved to the answering machine and saw that that there was a message. He was just about to play it when the phone rang, and he instead, answered it.

"Hello?"

"Is this Joey Tribbiani I'm speaking to?"

"Yeah, who's this?"

"Mr. Tribbiani I'm Terry from L.A Central Hospital. I'm sorry to tell you but there's been an accident. Your wife's car was hit by another this afternoon. We're doing all we can for her, but I'm terribly sorry to tell you, we lost the child…" The line went dead.

He had hung up, unable to hear any more. His body was numb. He dropped the phone. It landed in a loud clatter on the floor, breaking. He stumbled forward and pushed open the door to his baby's room. Everything was as he had left it that morning. Nightclothes were strewn haphazardly on the change table. A dirty diaper sat rolled up, waiting to be thrown out, amongst them. The cots bedclothes were still messed up. Crayons littered the small work desk that he and Hailey had gotten him for his birthday. A half finished scribble of what he had claimed to be a fire truck lay amongst them. The room didn't know that the child that occupied its space was gone. It simply waited for the boys return.

"Dada." He could still hear his baby's voice projecting through the room.

"Dada." Suddenly he was brought out of his numbness by a weight slamming into his leg. He looked down and saw a head of white blonde hair. The head turned up and his wife's blue eyes swam into his own. The boy smiled at him and Hailey's dimpled cheek was revealed.

"Cole!" Joey slid down the wall and clung onto the boy. "They said you were gone." His tears were making the boy's shirt wet. He hadn't even realized he was crying.

"You alright Joe?" He looked up and saw Gina looking at him oddly. "Hailey was supposed to pick Cole up hours ago but I guess she thought I was supposed to drop him off because she never showed. Where is she?"

"Hailey," Joey moaned. He scooped up his son, not ready to let go of the boy he thought he had lost and bolted out of the apartment. Gina, startled, ran behind and jumped into the car with him.

He sped to the hospital. Later he would wonder how he managed to get there without crashing but at that moment his only concern was Hailey.

He ran into the emergency ward, Gina close behind, Cole in his grasp.

"Mr. Tribbiani?"

"Where's my wife?" he asked anxiously. "Where is she?"

"Mrs. Tribbiani has sustained some serious internal injuries. We need to operate on her as soon as possible but first we need your signature." The women presented a clip bored to him and he signed it without giving a second thought.

"Would you like to see her before she goes in." Joey nodded mutely. "We just have to ask that you leave the child here. It would hurt him to see her like this."

He handed Cole to Gina who was staring at him in horror and followed the doctor into one of the rooms.

"Hailey," he moaned as he went to her side.

"Joe," she rasped, he voice was soft, almost to soft to be heard.

"Baby I'm right here, right beside you. You're going to be fine all right. You're too strong for a thing like this to hurt you."

"It is hurting Joey, so much."

"Hailey listen to me," he said, taking her hand and sobbing into it, "You're going to be fine, you're going to back at home getting angry with me for leaving the milk out in no time alright. You're my angel baby and the other angels up there; they're going to protect you ok. You're going to be fine." He lent down and left a lingering kiss on her forehead. A moment later the doctor walked in and wheeled her away.

For the next hour Joey paced the waiting room. Gina was sitting with a sound asleep Cole on her lap. Joey couldn't sit. If he sat he would think. He would think of the worst and that was something he couldn't bare. So instead, he paced. Back and forth, rhythmically. Carefully keeping his mind blank except for a picture of a blonde haired, blue eyed women with smiling white teeth and a dimpled right cheek.

Finally his pacing was interrupted. The doctor was walking down the hall. There was something in that walk that told Joey all he needed to know. It wasn't purposeful, but rather, hesitant. The doctor didn't want to be walking towards them. That was enough for Joey to know what happened. He looked into the ladies eyes and slid down the wall, tears pouring out of his eyes as he did so. In only a second Gina was beside him, cradling him, telling him everything would be ok. She placed his son in his arms and helped him. Together they existed the hospital. They fought their way through a stream of photographers and wound up back at his car. He walked away from his dead wife. He walked into a world that he wished he could leave.

He blinked and he was back at his apartment. Gina walked him through the door and sat he and Cole on the lounge and then left, presumably to break the news to Alex. His eyes caught sight of a red flash. It was the answering machine.

Numbly he reached out and pressed the play button. As he did so he heard the door open. He could feel Alex's eyes on him, and Gina's too.

Her voice filled his ears. She had been the one to leave the message.

"Joe I'm pregnant!" he voice rang out. "We're going to have another baby. Can you believe that? I was going to wait to tonight to tell you but I'm terrible at waiting, you know that. Now I think this means that we have to take that house we were looking at. I know the apartment has memories but we will make new ones in the house. I better go before the machine cuts me off. Can't wait to see you. Love you baby."

And then she was gone. Abruptly Joey stood, grabbed the machine and threw it across the room. It smashed against the kitchen counter. The counter that only eight hours ago she had stood on top of, blackmailing him into killing the spider, that he had sat her atop of, kissing her feverishly, making plans for this night which they were supposed to be spending alone together.

He felt two small arms encircle him and looked down at his newly awoken son.

"Dada, why sad? Where Momma?" asked the boy. And to that he had no answer. How was he supposed to explain to this child that he would never see his mother again.

* * *

It was a year ago to the day that those events had transpired. That day had been the worst day of his life. He had lost the love of his life after only almost two years of marriage.

Still kneeling in the grass, he looked down at the white marble one last time.

_Hailey Cole Tribianni_

_20th June 1974 –14th March 2004 _

_Loving Wife, Loving Mother_

_Rest In Peace My Angel_

She had wanted to be buried in New York, next to her parents and Joey was never one to deny her anything she wanted so he had flown her body over, even if it was far to far away for him to be able to visit every day.

Leaning forward, Joey kissed the inscription of her name and uttered two words he had never before managed to say.

"Goodbye Hailey." He let out a deep sob. "I'll see you again one day, but for now I have to raise our son. I promise to judge the girls just like you would have done. I'll love you forever my angel, I'll see you soon."

And with that he walked away. Back through the tangled grass and back under the tall billowing trees. He walked back to the world, ready to live again. He was going to live for his son, and for his wife, the blonde haired, blue-eyed woman with smiling white teeth and a dimpled right cheek, the woman that would kill him for not living.


	8. Focus

He needed to focus. He was not sure what on. He walked down the streets of New York. The fallen autumn leaves fluttered around his feet. Nature was never his thing. They weren't pretty to him. Nature was Hailey's thing. He just liked to hear them crackle as his boots crunched them.

He needed to focus. He turned into Central Park. He saw six figures. They ran. They smiled. With carelessness and ease. A football was thrown. A bike with pink tassels ridden. Monkey bars sat atop of. He hated memories. He could not let go of the past. He held it tight in his grasp. It fell limp in his hand. The past was simply a memory. He had left. Nothing had stayed the same. Six years since he left. Four years since he had boarded the plane. Nothing had stayed the same. Babies had being born. Apartments packed up. The lobster's stretched apart. Friendships had been torn while families strengthened.

He needed to focus. He walked down the hall. His mind attempted to turn the corridor into a tunnel. He wanted to create a new vision. He wanted to see only ahead. The future mattered now. Not the past. He tried to focus. He could only see a void at the end.

He reached his destination. He stretched his hand forward. Grasping at the doorknob, he hesitated. He had only just said goodbye. Was he ready to see her again? He did not make the decision. The door swung open, wrenched from his grasp. Startled, he jumped back. A noise of surprise was released from his mouth. And there she was, her blue eyes sparkling up at him.

"Joey! I didn't expect you for at least another hour." He heard Rachel speaking but it took him a moment to pry his eyes off his son and slide them over to her.

Offering a small half-smile he responded, "I got an early start." He noticed the warm coats and shoes Rachel, Emma and Cole were wearing. "Were you going somewhere?" He felt Cole's arms encircle his legs. Reflex made him reach down to stroke the boys white-blonde hair.

"Just to the grocery store. Come in."

Side-stepping his son he entered the apartment he had once called his own. It was almost unrecognizable. The walls were now a soft yellow. The cabinets replaced and light green in coloring. The foosball table was gone. He had been prepared for that, having seen in at Monica and Chandlers the previous night. A wooden dinner table was in its place. The cobra's chair was still there but it had been pushed to the side making room for the sofa that now stretched across the area in front of the television.

In the area where the yellow chair had once sat was a set up clearly devoted to Emma. There was a work desk littered with crayons, a stand for her to paint at, boxes of toys and a poster of Cinderella.

"Oh that's right, you haven't seen it since I redecorated. So what do you think?" she asked, eyes alight, skimming over his form.

"It's nice. Different."

"Not so much a boys apartment anymore," Rachel stated.

Rachel moved into the kitchen and busied herself with the coffee pot. Joey silently placed himself atop a stool and waited for her to speak.

"So how long until you go back home?" she asked, placing a mug in front of him.

"Fly out tomorrow morning," he said, eyes staring defiantly at the bench.

He could feel her watching him, her warm green eyes boring into his face. A small smile had been a constant on her lips since she had opened the door. She was too happy to see him. Nobody had looked at him like she was in over a year. For a year everyone he had come across had greeted him with a morbid air surrounding them, like they were afraid to be happy in his presence. Except for Cole. The boy always greeted him with happiness and love shinning in his eyes. But whenever Joey looked at Cole, he saw Hailey.

Finally he felt Rachel's gaze shift. He looked up and saw that she was watching the children play on the floor. Turning his head he just caught a glimpse of Emma placing the final block on the tower the two had created. The little girl turned to Cole and the two shared a proud grin. Cole then picked his little body up off the floor, padded across the room to Emma's play area and turned around. He looked over at his father and flashed an impish grin. Joey's eyes grew wide and Emma and Rachel's eyebrows wrinkled into identical confused creases. Before Joey could move Cole hurtled across the room and threw his body at the tower, as a joyous scream was released from his lips.

The tower crashed around Cole. He rolled onto his back giggling at his own antics. Joey could hear Emma laugh and see Rachel chuckling. He could also hear a deeper laugh and it took him a moment to realize that it was his own. The smile slid from his lips.

He felt Rachel's gaze on him once more and this time returned the look.

"He's a good kid Joe. A bit eccentric I think, but he's gorgeous for it."

"He gets that from his mother," Joey said softly.

"Really? I don't know, Hailey was hilarious but I couldn't see a little version of her knocking over a tower like that. You on the other hand, I could definitely see."

"You think?" Joey asked and smiled softly when she nodded.

Rachel's sparkling eyes shifted and became more serious. "I read Cole and Emma a story, just after Chandler dropped him off." He knew why she was mentioning this. Suddenly he couldn't look at her any longer and dropped his gaze to the bench once again. "He said that you don't read him stories, that only Auntie Alex and Auntie Gina do."

"And?" Joey asked, looking back up at Rachel, his eyes hard.

"And?" Rachel repeated incredulously. She lent forward and gripped the bench, watching for a brief moment as her knuckles turned white.

"Emma can you take Cole into your room please, show him your bowling set," Rachel asked her daughter softly. The children disappeared and Rachel turned back to Joey.

"What are you doing to him Joey? That kid lost his mother before he was old enough to remember her. Why are you making him lose his dad to?" Rachel kept her gaze intense but recoiled slightly when she saw the anger appear on his face.

"Why are you judging me? You have no right Rachel. You have no idea what its like to lose someone like I did. I don't read to Cole because me and Hailey use to together. It was our family thing. She would do the girl voices and I did the boy ones. I can't do that without her."

"Joey I don't care about what you and Hailey did. I care about that little boy who doesn't get read bedtime stories, who doesn't get attention from his father. You haven't said a word to him since you got here. When you first saw him you looked at him like it pained you to do it. You can't do that to him. He doesn't deserve it."

"Don't you think I know that?" Joey lent forward and dropped his head into his hands. His fingers gripped his forehead tightly, ingraining little red marks into it. He spoke into his hands. "Every time I look at him I see Hailey."

"He's not Hailey Joey. He's Cole. Hailey's gone. You're going to have to accept that otherwise you're going to lose your son."

"Why are you doing this to me today." He looked up at her once more, his eyes flashing with anger. "I decided to move on this morning. I decided that I have to focus on the future. I don't need you yelling at me right now."

"I'm not yelling at y-."

"Really? Cause your voice is pretty damn loud."

"I'm just trying to stop you hurting your son," she said, her voice soft, eyes downcast.

"Yeah well don't. It's none of your business. Besides it's not like you don't have enough problems of your own. Look at this place Rachel. You're the only one who didn't move on."

"Get out Joey." And he did. He walked into his old room, grabbed Cole and stormed out the door. A moment after the door slammed shut he heard something smash, but he didn't turn around, he just kept walking. If he had he would have found Rachel slumped on the floor, tears leaking from her eyes and her coffee cup smashed in the sink.


End file.
